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| Photo Courtsey- Doug McIlroy |
Diwali
is a festival of lights, of hope, of life, of togetherness. A national holiday is
proclaimed not for no reason. Amidst all the blare and the buzz of the crackers
bursting in the country outside her window, Sanjani managed a sneak into her
pursuits.
She could be helping her mother prepare for the big Pooja , or cheering her younger siblings while they lit their bottle rockets and fire flowers. But she had an escape planned to the
place where her dreams looked real.
She retired NOT because she wanted to
escape, but because she had tried before and our world had failed to amuse her.
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Another lovely photo prompt from Friday Fictioners. How we love writing for these prompts, Rochelle.
Dear Soumyaa,
ReplyDeleteThere is going to come a time when all of your work comes to fruition. Keep at it, keep working and you will attain you goals. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
I hope to, Doug. Thank you for your words, helps always.
DeleteDear Soumyaa,
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how Sanjani is going to escape. Is she going to kill herself or just detach into her own little world. Also saying "our world" is narrator interruption. In other words it inserts another character and takes the point of view away from Sanjani. Is this what you want to do?
In the second sentence it would read better as "A national holiday is proclaimed for no reason."
I like the feeling and the sharing of culture.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle,
DeleteShe is escaping into her own world.
Yes, here the purpose in the end was to reduce Sanjini's character by introduction of another character- the world, only to emphasis how she considered herself aloof.
In the second sentence, I am in favor of declaration of the national holiday and so i use the sentence "A national holiday is proclaimed not for no reason", to say that the reason is apt. I hope I'm doing justice.
Thank you for the reading profoundly :)
Shalom.
A shame she can't help her mother or give some time to her siblings. But we've all been selfish in our lives, I imagine. A thoughtful story.
ReplyDeleteYes Patrick, it indeed is not very wise to think only about one's self. Such was Sanjani though, bottled up in her own thoughts and her own world.
DeleteShall we call her a tale? ;)
Welcome to my blog!
A trip to another culture; beautifully executed.
ReplyDeleteSoumyaa, Well done. Let's hope Sanjani learns to relate better to her family members. Well written. : ) ---Susan
ReplyDeleteI guess she'll attain that maturity in her thoughts towards her family when she attains her dreams. Until then, she is ignorant to everything else. Maybe I'll write a sequel then ;)
DeleteThank you for your warm appreciation Susan :)
There is much atmosphere in this tale. Well done. I especially liked - Amidst all the blare and the buzz of the crackers bursting
ReplyDeleteIn the second sentence, I am in favor of declaration of the national holiday and so i use the sentence "A national holiday is proclaimed not for no reason", to say that the reason is apt. I hope I'm doing justice. After reading Rochelle's comment, I, too found this confusing. Perhaps rethink the wording so the reader doesn't need to read it again and again. Just a suggestion
Thank you for your comment Alicia. Honest criticisms and suggestions are always welcome, and appreciation, loved :)
DeleteYes I guess as Rochelle has also mentioned, I could do better with that sentence. I will keep your suggestion in mind for future write-ups. Thank you so much for your views!
Guess at her age - we all have our own world to escape to! They are always magical !!
ReplyDeleteDear Horus,
DeleteI agree, there is always such an age for every person! But well, we can only keep guessing her age ;)
Welcome to my blog :)
Dear Soumyaa, Well written and I have my own world to escape too. In fact, several that make me happy. Family is the problem sometimes. You can't always live with them, but you can't live without them either. Good story. How old is she? Old like me? Nan :)
ReplyDelete