Improving by learning!

I have been, quite often than not, closed to criticisms. I was probably afraid of them. I presume it had its roots from me over-expecting from myself. I would shun any thought or feedback which took me to believe that I was failing those expectations. I had to fail, I was over-expecting, remember? I'm changing, now that I've realized the problem.

 
And so when I was suggested by a friend to open a blog, I surpassed the feeling of performance anxiety due to being commented on publicly and gave it a thought. It wasn't easy! I had to start to learn from what I could really expect from myself. I started by learning more about me, giving more time to myself this way, realizing my likes and dislikes in the minutest manner. I hadn't really given myself so much of a thought before. I could have fallen for being self-obsessed in the process if.. okay lets just leave it there!
I went on to analyze my failures and my success. I realized I had great strengths, some unused, some used in the wrong directions and others over used! Weaknesses- I tried accepting. Eventually, I found myself. I found the real me who was burdened and dying by the over-expecting me. No, it's not really as tragic as I might sound, but yes, it did change my life a great deal. I had a different perspective about things now. I concluded that I wasn't born all for fulfilling my duties and standing upto my own expectations. I could take time out to appreciate the nature, to socialize, to sometimes sacrifice my own plans and receive others in those plans, to savor life's givings, to live and to live enduring within me every breathe I'm lucky enough to breath! 

Anyway, so now I feel I'm ready to face, ready to be judged, ready to perceive, to tumble and finally stand strong. I'm now ready to improve by learning- and there's no end to it, i believe!

ps- why this over-expectation, I'll come to that later ;)